{"id":1226,"date":"2012-04-09T05:00:55","date_gmt":"2012-04-09T12:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/markccrowley.com\/?p=1226"},"modified":"2012-04-09T05:00:55","modified_gmt":"2012-04-09T12:00:55","slug":"your-heart-has-a-mind-of-its-own","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging-wmplo.xyz\/mark-c-divi5\/your-heart-has-a-mind-of-its-own\/","title":{"rendered":"Your Heart Has A Mind Of Its Own"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"We\u201cIt is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what’s is essential is invisible to the eye.\u201d
\n<\/strong>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Antoine de Saint-Exupery
\n<\/strong><\/em>
\n<\/em><\/strong>Many years ago, I spent the day with the CEO of the bank where I worked, and asked him to give me his best piece of leadership advice.<\/p>\n

His response came quickly.\u00a0 \u201cWhen it comes to managing people,\u201d he told me, \u201cmake decisions with your head, and implement them with your heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

I remember being impressed by this.\u00a0 It seemed very thoughtful and even enlightened.\u00a0 Yet the core of his message was that business decisions must always be made by our minds, alone \u2013 an extremely common belief then as it remains today.<\/p>\n

Thanks to recent scientific research, however, we now know that the heart is not just a beating organ, it\u2019s a thinking<\/em> one.\u00a0 And, just like having another person in the room to provide a second opinion, the heart offers unique insights.\u00a0 Hearts have a mind of their own.<\/em><\/p>\n

Tied to this new understanding, we\u2019re well advised to ask our hearts to weigh in on decisions and to render their assessments \u2013 before<\/em> any implementation commences.\u00a0 But how many of us in business ever make this consultation?\u00a0 Don\u2019t we all really believe the heart\u2019s voice must be tuned out \u2013 that whatever it has to say will misguide us?<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a story I hope will influence you to more consistently consult your heart when making important decisions and to trust what it\u2019s telling you.<\/p>\n

In his classic book, Influence<\/em>, Dr. Robert Cialdini, describes an interaction he had with a person who showed up at his house one warm summer evening and rang his doorbell:<\/p>\n

I answered my door \u201cto find a stunning young woman dressed in shorts and a revealing halter top.\u00a0 I noticed, nonetheless, that she was carrying a clipboard and was asking me to participate in a survey.\u00a0 Wanting to make a favorable impression, I agreed\u2026.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Cialdini doesn\u2019t explain why he felt compelled to make a good impression on his solicitor, yet we can certainly imagine him sucking in his middle-age gut as he welcomed her into his house.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m doing a survey on the entertainment habits of people and am hoping you can answer a few questions for me,\u201d she began.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCan you tell me how many nights a week you go out to dinner on average?”<\/p>\n

At his ego\u2019s direction, apparently, Cialdini assumed the identity of a continental, a man-about-town who enjoys all the finer things in life. \u00a0\u201cI love restaurants,\u201d he crowed.\u00a0 \u201cI eat out three or four times a week.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow nice,\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cAnd do you usually order wine with your dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly if it\u2019s imported,\u201d said Cialdini, laying it on as thick as possible.<\/p>\n

The canvasser proceeded to ask question after question related to concerts, the theater, ballet, movies and sporting events.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cialdini, (or Bob as she\u2019s been asked to call him) we learn, was an aficionado of all of them.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Bob, she gushed, \u201cyou seem to really love entertainment don\u2019t you?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 And, just as soon as he nodded his head to the affirmative, she moved in for the kill.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrom all the information you\u2019ve given me, I\u2019m pleased to say you could save at least twelve hundred dollars a year by joining Club America!\u00a0 A small membership fee entitles you to discounts on all the things you so enjoy.\u00a0\u00a0 Surely someone as socially vigorous as yourself would want to take advantage of the tremendous savings….\u201d<\/p>\n

In the moment, Cialdini felt \u201ctrapped as a rat.\u201d\u00a0 He knew he\u2019d been cornered by his own behavior and words, and would come off as a liar and a phony were he to not make the purchase.\u00a0 His mind offered him no way out.<\/p>\n

But Cialdini acknowledged he had heard earlier another voice inside of him, one that urgently attempted to notify his brain that a con was taking place.\u00a0 \u201cHey, you\u2019re being taken here!\u201d \u00a0\u00a0Predictably, Cialdini totally ignored the warning and ended up making the purchase.<\/p>\n

Reflecting later on how he\u2019d been duped, Cialdini realized the situation was entirely fraudulent \u2013 a scheme specifically designed to extract all the responses and outcomes it did. \u00a0Were he to face it again, he tells us, he would have better respected, and acted upon<\/em>, that inner guidance.\u00a0 Were life to grant him a do-over, here\u2019s what Ciadini now would say to his cunning marketer:<\/p>\n

\u201cYou see, I fully recognize what has gone on here. I know that your story about doing a survey was a pretext for getting me to tell you how often I go out so you could then use that information to sell me your product.\u00a0\u00a0 Therefore, because you deliberately sought to trick me, I not at all interested in joining Club America.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cialdini concludes the story by advising that we all learn to trust the intelligence of our hearts. \u201cIt is by definition, the one place where we cannot fool ourselves.\u00a0 It is a place where none of our justifications, none of our rationalizations penetrate.\u201d\u00a0 He implores us to \u201ctrust that flash of feeling\u201d and to determine not just whether we trust something intellectually, but also in our \u201cheart of hearts.\u201d<\/p>\n

In a book written thirty years ago, before science could provide him proof, Cialdini states: \u201cWe experience our feelings toward something a split second before we can intellectualize about it.\u00a0 My suspicion is the message sent by the heart is a pure, basic feeling.\u00a0 Therefore, if we train ourselves to be attentive, we should register it ever so slightly before our cognitive apparatus engages.\u201d<\/p>\n

The moral of the story is that your heart always has your back.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s your ally, not a foe.\u00a0\u00a0 So, next time out, will you heed its call?<\/p>\n

We always appreciate it when you share these blogs with friends and colleagues! \u00a0If you would like to receive Mark’s blogs directly (no name sharing or smarmy solicitations), please sign up here.<\/span><\/a> \u00a0PS: Mark also likes to send his Tribe leadership information not otherwise shared.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cIt is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what’s is essential is invisible to the eye.\u201d \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Antoine de Saint-Exupery Many years ago, I spent the day with the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,14,15,16],"tags":[69,100,109,133,177,197,233],"class_list":["post-1226","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-heartleadershipinpractice","category-leadership","category-lifelessons","category-wisdomefromotherauthors","tag-emotional-intelligence","tag-heart","tag-human-performance","tag-leadership-skills","tag-robert-cialdini","tag-success","tag-wisdom"],"yoast_head":"\nYour Heart Has A Mind Of Its Own - Mark C. 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