{"id":1728,"date":"2012-10-07T23:55:32","date_gmt":"2012-10-08T06:55:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/markccrowley.com\/?p=1728"},"modified":"2013-11-18T10:17:24","modified_gmt":"2013-11-18T18:17:24","slug":"seize-opportunities-to-demonstrate-you-care","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging-wmplo.xyz\/mark-c-divi5\/seize-opportunities-to-demonstrate-you-care\/","title":{"rendered":"Seize Opportunities To Demonstrate You Care"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Magnetic<\/a>A few years ago, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor.\u00a0 While all on it\u2019s own the experience was the most terrifying of my life, the people who were supposed to care about me really didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Doctors, no less, made the circumstances far worse than they needed to be, and ignored how their indifference could have a rippling and discomforting effect on my entire family.<\/p>\n

There will be moments in your life as a leader when your employees will need your thoughtfulness, your generosity \u2013 your humanity.\u00a0\u00a0 They\u2019ll need you, as their boss, to drop your guard, display your heart, and show people how much they matter.\u00a0 Blow this with any one person who works for you and you will lose their full engagement forever.<\/p>\n

I went to see my \u201cprimary\u201d doctor after having fluid remain in one ear for over a week.\u00a0 I\u2019d had this problem at other times in my life and had come to believe it was a chronic condition.\u00a0 My doctor seemed to believe the same thing, but nonetheless sent me to a specialist just to be certain.<\/p>\n

With water still clogging my one ear, I underwent a hearing test.\u00a0 Not surprisingly, I heard very few of the repeated beats of varying decibels in the affected ear.\u00a0 While distressing, it seemed logical to me that sound would be greatly muffled by the fluid, and I successfully raised my hand every time tones were sent to my other ear.<\/p>\n

The clinician who administered the exam was unable to reveal the exam results and told me my new doctor would review them with me.\u00a0 Her secrecy had me on edge, but I was fully unprepared for what came next.<\/p>\n

The eye-ear-nose-throat expert was no rapport builder.\u00a0 With his eyes perusing my report, and after barely saying hello, he asked me a series of rapid-fire questions.\u00a0 \u201cWas your head ever injured in an accident?\u00a0 Have you begun having serious headaches?\u00a0 Have you ever been exposed to a gun shot?\u201d<\/p>\n

Even though I answered \u201cno\u201d to all of his leading questions, my doctor with the off-putting bedside manner cut to the chase.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll need to run more tests, but I\u2019m quite certain you have a brain tumor.\u201d\u00a0 Very directly, and without any display of concern for my feelings, he told me the Latin name for it, explained that I likely would need brain surgery to remove it, and advised me to go home and \u201clook it up on the internet.\u201d<\/p>\n

I walked out of that hospital like a zombie and called my wife just as I was pulling out of the parking lot.\u00a0 \u201cHe said I have a brain tumor; can you look up my condition and tell me what it says?\u201d<\/p>\n

With my wife now crying, she began reading the direst summary imaginable.\u00a0 \u201cThe surgery had the potential to paralyze me or even kill me.\u00a0 Regardless of the outcome, they would have to open up my skull.\u201d<\/p>\n

For two weeks, I waited for my insurance company to approve the MRI exam.\u00a0 Every day, my wife was lighting candles, saying prayers and debating as to whether to tell our son.<\/p>\n

While laying in the MRI machine, I had a mirror over my head that allowed me to see a person in a booth a hundred yards away.\u00a0\u00a0 During the half-hour noise-fest, I kept looking up at him convinced he could see into my brain, already knowing I was a dead man.\u00a0 You try to be positive in situations like this \u2013 but my doctor was all but certain.<\/p>\n

It was a full month of worry before I saw the doctor again.\u00a0 Fully expecting he would have reviewed my MRI results before I arrived (so he could be best prepared for whatever discussion was to follow), I was incredulous when he opened the envelope right in front of me.\u00a0 It became clear: this doctor hadn\u2019t given me one thought since giving me his ominous diagnosis.\u00a0 Moreover, he was entirely oblivious to all the fear and worry his prognosticating had induced.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou clearly have an infection behind your ear, but I\u2019m not seeing any evidence of a tumor from this,\u201d he told me matter-of-factly.<\/p>\n

I would have a CAT Scan, and another two weeks of sleepless nights, before he confirmed antibiotics would solve the problem.\u00a0 This doctor, who had been so cocksure he could solve the puzzle before any of the letters had been revealed on the board, had been entirely wrong.<\/p>\n

Eighteen months later, fluid returned to the same ear and I scheduled an appointment with my primary physician.\u00a0\u00a0 Apparently cut from the same cloth of indifference as his peer, he reviewed my file in front of me suddenly exclaiming, \u00a0\u201cWhat the F*** happened here?\u201d<\/p>\n

My doctor \u2013 my primary caregiver \u2013 had never bothered to check in with the specialist he\u2019d referred me to, and was seeing the evidence of all I went through for the very first time.<\/p>\n

My instinct was to excoriate my doctor in that moment, but I decided instead to fire him.\u00a0 His blatant indifference \u2013 after being his patient for over a decade \u2013 inspired me to end our relationship on the spot.<\/p>\n

Malcom Gladwell has reported that patients who perceive their doctors to have authentically cared for them when being treated, infrequently sue when things go badly wrong in the operating room.\u00a0 Conversely, doctors who show little interest in patients personally almost always get sued in similar circumstances.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s entirely true for doctors is equally true for leaders.\u00a0 How you make people feel has it\u2019s own unique kind of karma.\u00a0\u00a0 Demonstrating that you genuinely care about the feelings of employees is a behavior of great leaders.\u00a0 This because emotions, above all things, drive the engagement, loyalty, initiative and productivity in people — all the desired outcomes in business.<\/p>\n

If you would like to receive Mark’s articles directly (never strings attached or addresses shared), please sign up here.<\/a> \u00a0We’re also honored when you share them with friends on social media.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

PS: \u00a0After this article was posted, all of the social media counters on our website mysteriously reverted to zeros — and all historical share counts were lost.<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0All links now are working!
\n<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor.\u00a0 While all on it\u2019s own the experience was the most terrifying of my life, the people who were supposed to care about me really didn\u2019t. Doctors, no less, made the circumstances far worse than they needed to be, and ignored how their indifference could […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,14,15],"tags":[50,69,72,100,109,144,197],"class_list":["post-1728","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-heartleadershipinpractice","category-leadership","category-lifelessons","tag-compassion","tag-emotional-intelligence","tag-employee-engagement","tag-heart","tag-human-performance","tag-management-skills","tag-success"],"yoast_head":"\nSeize Opportunities To Demonstrate You Care - Mark C. 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